New Babies

NO, this is not an announcement. This is a bitch session. I have a ton of friends and acquaintances and neighbors who are pregnant. CONGRATS to them. I am happy for them and the joy that a new baby brings. My good friend just had her beautiful baby girl yesterday! She is adorable....and I want to scream! I feel like I have to be happy and "fake" with everybody. I need to vent, and yell and...well, BITCH!

My baby would be almost 18 month old. Walking, getting into everything. There are good parts to not having an 18 month old...I realize that, and am OK with my life, in general. But new babies are too much. I look at them, and they have good color, and can grip your finger, and ...... I never had that with my Ella. I will never have that again.

I want to curl up with my baby blanket that I made for Ella, and cry. And cry. And cry. But I can't. I am a mom, and a wife, and a taxi and a referee. I am too busy, which I think helps with the day to day emotions. But seeing the new lives that are coming down all around me, I am struggling.
SO, forgive me if I can't kiss and hug you. I am sorry if I have to turn away when you walk by with your cute preggo tummy. It is too much right now!

Lagoon the good, the bad and the ugly!

We decided to get Lagoon season passes for the family. We are not going on any major vacations, and thought this would be fun. Opening weekend was cold and super slow. We NEVER had to wait in a line. The kids had a great time, we didn't spend money on food, or games! It was a super fun weekend!
Bad??? I can't ride a couple of the rides. Like the Bat. They could not buckle the harness over me and my big fattness! Totally humiliating. My kids were awesome, but I have renewed drive to get this weight off. By the time the regular season opens (the week of Memorial Day) I will be able to ride any ride...ANY RIDE!!

I have 2 wonderful weekend a year. No kids. No husbands. Hot tubs. Chick Flicks. Junk food. Late nights. Oh, and scrapping!
I have now posted a countdown for our spring retreat! SO excited! I don't know that Brandon is terribly excited...but he is ALWAYS supportive of my bi-annual getaways! Love you babe.

Love you, my Sassy's!!!!!!!

Funny Video Clip...made my day!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyGJXLxtVEo

Day?????

So, day 1 is over.  So is day 2 and 3 and 4 and…well, you get the idea.

It has been a good year so far.  I am feeling good, and following my diet, mostly.  However, I must admit that I am drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper.  I am weak.  When I am grumpy, I want a soda….not too bad considering the other things I could choose.  Anyway, my personal goal is shot, and today, so is my diet.  But tomorrow is another day, and I will choose to do better!

Day 1

Today is the first day. "First day of what?" you might ask. Today is the first day of my 3rd round of HCG. I am doing great, or I was until the Holidays. My almost 50 lbs lost, is now at 25 lbs lost. But that is OK. Day 1 doesn't have ANY days behind it.

The biggest change for me, with this new day, is soda. I love my soda. I love the taste, I love the "burn" as it fizzes in my mouth and down my throat. I love it. However, on HCG, there is no soda. Water!!! The 1st two rounds I did, I would start my soda when my HCG was done. NOT this time. I am done with pop for the rest of the year! It is on my blog, and everyone can see it. I can have soda today (day 1 of HCG) and tomorrow. After that, never again in 2010 will I have ANY soda. OH, this is big!

I also have some personal, private goals. I may share them throughout the year. 2010 is going to be a good year for me! I love my job...I get to volunteer in each of the kids' classes once a week...I am teaching the 11 year old girls in church (they are the best). I have family who love me, and friends that I could not live without! I have much to be grateful for, and I can think of no better way to say "thank you" than to live this year the best that I can.

New Year

The New Year. I am contemplating my life. This new year has been very......unreal. I see the empty calander, and know that I can fill it with anything. This is my year. I get to choose who I spend my time with. I get to choose how I spend my time. I get to fill my calander full to overflowing, or leave it nearly blank.
I can leave behind the old calanders. Last year, the year before....they don't have to be on display any longer. And the things that filled years past don't have to be in my new year! I am changing what gets scheduled. I am picking who gets time. I have a fresh, empty, blank year in front of me, and I am going to use it well.