I am feeling sad today. There is no reason, I just am. Yesterday was a good day. The kids all had a day out of school, and we had some fun, and did some homework. Dentist appointments, dinner and a movie rounded out the night. Yet, at the end of the day, I felt deflated. How can such a busy, packed, accomplishing day leave you feeling empty?
I am feeling the loss of what would have been. My Ella would be about 6 weeks old. I miss her. I wish she were here. My house would not have gotten cleaned yesterday, and I am sure that my stress would have been great, trying to do homework, piano practice, reading, fun time, appointments and everything else. But, when it comes right down to it, I don't care. What would I have done with another child to care for? I just miss her.
Tomorrow? I don't know. Sometimes these "slumps" are short-lived. Other times they turn into a full fledged breakdown. I want to be strong, and I think that I am learning to feel my sadness, and then move on quicker than before. My hope is that tomorrow will be a better day. I know it will be a new day, and for now, that may have to be enough!
4 comments:
i love that you are doing this!! and i will be anxiously awaiting knowing better what is going on in your heart on any given day!
my prayers continue to be with you! love you!!!
Writing can be so cathartic. God bless you.
Let's be grateful that you don't have a tapeworm...
((hugs)) Thinking of you.
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