NO, this is not an announcement. This is a bitch session. I have a ton of friends and acquaintances and neighbors who are pregnant. CONGRATS to them. I am happy for them and the joy that a new baby brings. My good friend just had her beautiful baby girl yesterday! She is adorable....and I want to scream! I feel like I have to be happy and "fake" with everybody. I need to vent, and yell and...well, BITCH!
My baby would be almost 18 month old. Walking, getting into everything. There are good parts to not having an 18 month old...I realize that, and am OK with my life, in general. But new babies are too much. I look at them, and they have good color, and can grip your finger, and ...... I never had that with my Ella. I will never have that again.
I want to curl up with my baby blanket that I made for Ella, and cry. And cry. And cry. But I can't. I am a mom, and a wife, and a taxi and a referee. I am too busy, which I think helps with the day to day emotions. But seeing the new lives that are coming down all around me, I am struggling.
SO, forgive me if I can't kiss and hug you. I am sorry if I have to turn away when you walk by with your cute preggo tummy. It is too much right now!
2 comments:
oh, my sweet Laura! i love you!!
I completely understand. They don't have to.
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