I AM FEELING ALL SORTS OF ACCOMPLISHED!!!
BED MADE? CHECK
FLOOR FOUND? CHECK
LAUNDRY ROTATING? CHECK
KIDS' ROOMS CLEAN? (MINUS ALEX) CHECK
DISHES DONE? GETTING THERE
GROCERIES? LATER
CLOSET CLEANED? CHECK
DI BAGS OVERFLOWING? CHECK
DINNER STARTED? ARE YOU KIDDING?????
KITCHEN TABLE VISIBLE? CHECK
HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS? CHECK
4 OF 6 COSTUMES COMPLETED? YEAH!!!
FAMILY PICTURES DONE THIS WEEK? CHECK
NEW JOB AWESOME? CHECK
I CAN'T THINK OF ANY MORE, BUT IT IS A GREAT DAY. OH, JUST THOUGHT OF ONE!
MEDICATIONS WORKING? CHECK, CHECK, CHECK!!!!!
October 10, 2009
September 4, 2009
Pity Party!
I am feeling sad today. I am not sure why. I am exhausted from canning and freezing veggies all week. Even though I am so grateful for them, if I have to can or grate anything else before Monday, I might loose it!
The twins survived their first week of school. They love it. Just like pro's...we pull into the circle, they hop out, "bye mom, love you" and they are gone! I am glad that they are excited, but I am feeling very empty.
One of the hardest things about loosing Ella, was that I have had to realize that my twins are my youngest. That was not expected, we always knew we would have another baby after Liv and Al. So, to go from "baby" mode, to "my babies are in Kindergarten" has been hard.
I love the freedom in the afternoon, and one of these days, I will use the time productively instead of taking a nap.
My best friend from Junior High just had a baby. He is so cute. I have not seen this friend for several years, probably 4?? But I am so happy for her and their newest family member. BUT, I am so sad. Instead of being able to talk about babies, and what stage mine is at, and how hers is, I feel this void that I can't fill. I am capable of having conversations with people...but suddenly I feel all alone and outcast.
My bishop, who lost his 15 year old daughter several years ago, has told me: It's like belonging to an exclusive club that you didn't want to join, and can never get out of.
That about sums it up.
The twins survived their first week of school. They love it. Just like pro's...we pull into the circle, they hop out, "bye mom, love you" and they are gone! I am glad that they are excited, but I am feeling very empty.
One of the hardest things about loosing Ella, was that I have had to realize that my twins are my youngest. That was not expected, we always knew we would have another baby after Liv and Al. So, to go from "baby" mode, to "my babies are in Kindergarten" has been hard.
I love the freedom in the afternoon, and one of these days, I will use the time productively instead of taking a nap.
My best friend from Junior High just had a baby. He is so cute. I have not seen this friend for several years, probably 4?? But I am so happy for her and their newest family member. BUT, I am so sad. Instead of being able to talk about babies, and what stage mine is at, and how hers is, I feel this void that I can't fill. I am capable of having conversations with people...but suddenly I feel all alone and outcast.
My bishop, who lost his 15 year old daughter several years ago, has told me: It's like belonging to an exclusive club that you didn't want to join, and can never get out of.
That about sums it up.
August 19, 2009
Tonight, I am feeling sorry for myself. I have a horrible life! OK, not really. The boys are having a 2-night sleepover at my Auntie Raine's, so I thought the twins could watch a movie on Hudson's bed (the TV is temporarily in there), and have their own sleepover.
But, as usual, that didn't happen. They fought, and yelled and spit (newest form of annoying each other). So, then we had to wrestle to bed, and fight and settle all the "It's not fairs"... So, I feel like a failure of a mom, and my kids did NOT have a fun movie night, and I want to burst into tears.
Please tell me I am not the only horrible mother out there!
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